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Today I let one of the girls at my internship paint my nails. A few girls exclaimed, “that’s weird!” and one boy timidly asked, “are you actually letting her paint your nails?” I told them that boys are allowed to paint their nails and asked them who told them they couldn’t? None of them had an answer. And one-by-one the boys came over to the nail painting station and started doing their own nails, and each others nails, and one boy even got really excited and asked if he could do my other hand and it was just a really cool thing to see.
When the parents came to pick up the kids, the boy who had enthusiastically painted my nails, started scraping off his nail polish. I asked him why he was doing that an he said that one time he wore his sister’s nail polish and his dad gave him a “whoopin’”. And then, in the meekest voice I’ve very heard, he whispers, “but next time I come to [the program], I think I’ll just paint them again, anyways… I think sometimes parents can be wrong about stuff too.” I half-smiled and whispered back, “I think you might be right.” And helped him take the rest off with nail polish remover.

And that was the coolest moment of my day.

And you are definitely a great person

gosh can you imagine the fond memories that boy will have of that time though? like, you know how sometimes you faintly remember the face of a kindergardener whos been very kind to you, or an animal that was very soft? i think that boy will sometimes remember that day and smile to himself and he won’t even remember your name or your face that well but he’ll still be super happy

(Source: coordinate-butt-to-mouth)

50 questions

1: What would you name your future daughter?
- probably some iteration of “rain”
2: Do you miss anyone?
- nope
3: What if I told you that you were pretty?
- I’d say thank you and probably argue.
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
- yes, also said it myself a time or two.
5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?
- getting ahead in life
6: Did you go out or stay in last night?
- stayed in, watched Ender’s Game. Unimpressed.
7: How late did you stay up last night?
- 11:30 
8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?
- probably, I’m not exactly afraid to parade around in them.
9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?
- this
10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
- no, I take that word very seriously.
11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
- probably.
12: Have you pretended to like someone?
- I’ve TRIED to like someone before. In ended up being very similar :/
13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
- that’s the plan.
14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
- there was
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?
- incredibly so if I don’t want to
16: Think back five months ago, were you single?
- #singleforlife
17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?
- absolutely.
18: Hold hands with anyone this week?
- nope.
19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
- you know something, it actually did.
20: Who did you last see in person?
- my roommates.
21: What is the last thing you said out loud?
- “haha, oh that’s funny.”
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
- nope
23: Have you ever been to Paris?
- nope
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- of course
25: Do you use chap stick?
- yessir
26: Who did you last share a bed with?
- a guy
27: Are you listening to music right now?
- no
28: What is something you currently want right now?
- $$$
29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?
- pretty sure yes. Unless you are counting the events rather than the kisses themselves.
30: How is your heart lately?
- think Pleistocene Epoch.
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
- I don’t hoodie.
32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
- Friday?
33: What do people call you?
- most frequently, Dustin
34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?
- no, I’m pretty good at speaking my mind.
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?
- HA!
36: What are you listening to right now?
- roommates discussing food.
37: What is wrong with you right now?
- I am alive but not living.
38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?
- it’s a powerful thing.
39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?
- yep
40: What is on your wrists right now?
- cuts and scrapes
41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?
- single and bitter
42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?
- Wal-Mart
43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
- yes
44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?
- yes
45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?
- no
46: What were you doing at midnight last night?
- sleeping
47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?
- not particularly.
48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
- this varies by hour
49: Have you ever been to New York?
- no
50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
- let’s hope my grandma means her I love yous.

For the first time in over 6 months I went out last night with my best friend, whom I haven’t seen since the start of the new year. It was a lot of fun hanging out and dancing and catching up, I got to meet a lot of funny people, and I even dealt with a really awkward situation I’ve let stew for the last couple weeks. But now that it’s all over and I’m not in the moment anymore, I just feel sad. Like, I was at a fucking gay bar celebrating mardi gras and all I can do when I think about it is well up with tears. I danced with this guy who was mildly drunk, decently attractive, and socially inept. You know, right up my alley. He was really cute to hang out with, but he told me it was his birthday yesterday and he wasn’t trying to leave home empty handed yesterday. I told him I couldn’t help him out because I’m “bad news.” He peaces out and I don’t see him again for the rest of the night, but you know what I do see for the rest of the night? I notice people left and right just having a good time, you know, dancing, dry humping, making out, all that jazz. And I go back to that guy who probably just wanted to fuck and realize that I have literally experienced EVERYTHING I’m unable to do in one night. Confused? Here’s a list:

1) at a bar, can’t drink because young.
2) at a gay club, can’t have a gay because I have a fucking std that’s basically taken control of my life.

I can’t go out on a date because I’m too self conciliation about having to wear a pad; I can’t hook up with anyone because I wouldn’t wish this on my own worst enemy; I can’t even make new gay friends because I’m generally bitter towards the gay community for this happening to me.

What the fuck has my life become?


I am a millenial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11. Give or take. They call us the global generation. We are known for out entitlement and narcissism. Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy for just growing up. Others thinks it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems our one defining trait is a numbness to the world. An indifference to suffering.

Once upon a time, I met the sweetest guy in this hell hole called West Virginia. He made me feel like I was more than the sum of unfortunate events that had occurred at that point in my life. In fact, he made me feel again during a time where I was shut down and away from any positivity. He put forth every effort he could daily to make me happy despite being over 100 miles away. It was beautiful to be the center of attention to someone that actually have a shit. This picture is from the one and only date we managed to go on (thanks Mother Nature). It’s by far the greatest date I’ve ever been on because it was a random string of activities where we were one another’s source of entertainment. Distance and circumstance ended things pretty abruptly. However, I wouldn’t change a thing, because the 35 days I spent getting to know this boy were the greatest 35 days I had in all of 2013. It’s almost the dreaded V-day and, I won’t lie, I definitely had a few ideas of spending it with this kid a month ago. I won’t though. But you know what? I’m going to enjoy myself, because I learned a valuable lesson from this guy. Other people can bring you happiness. Other people can also take away that happiness but only if you let them. I’m going on a date V-day weekend with someone I’m almost 99% incompatible with. Not because either of us is desperate, but rather, both of us need someone to go to a musical with. It’s going to be fun, there will be no guarantee of a second date, there is no hope of it being anymore than two dudes who both happen to be gay hanging out. That’s the kicker! It doesn’t need to be anything more. As a passing thought, I considered it being better than the date this picture pretty accurately describes. But it doesn’t have to be, and that is the best part of it. So here’s a little lesson I’m trying to teach myself: make the best out of anything and everything that comes your way. It may surprise you, but if it doesn’t, it’s totally not going to be a loss because you tried.


1: Do you have a crush at the moment?
Not that I’m cognitive of.

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?
Probably not.

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?
84 hours.

4: Have you ever changed for someone?
Everyone changes, people change.

5: How is your relationship with your ex?
Facebook Friends.

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

7: Have you ever cheated?

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?
The flame, never lose the initial spark. Otherwise, it’s just not worth it.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
Good question.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
Sex wise? 5
More than making out? 9

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
Asking him out in the first place.

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
Whenever they don’t feel the need to ask themselves this very question.

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?
Absolutely not.

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?
I don’t necessarily disbelieve it.

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?
When it’s mundane for either person.

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
I’ve seen it.

22: Do you think people should date their friends?
I don’t see a reason not to.

23: How many relationships have you had?

24: Do you think love can last forever?
No, nothing lasts forever.

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?
HAHAHA! No, that might actually earn them browny points.

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
Nobody in this dead end town is worth it. Save yourself a lot of trouble and sadness and don’t worry about anyone other than yourself for the time being.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

29: What do you notice first about another person?
His/her smile.

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
There are a few that I would consider bothersome.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
Not unless family counts.

33: Do you want to get married one day?
I’m not sure, probably not.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

36: Are you still a virgin?

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?
Both are important to me.

38: Do you enjoy love films?

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?
A lot of talking, some dinner, a little bit of a road trip (just as a change of scenery), a surprise of some sort, a kiss goodnight and goodbye.
42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?
Not really.

45: Could you imagine dating one of your current friends?
Lol, no.

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?
Jay-Z and Beyoncé

48: What’s your favorite love song?
1000 Years by Christina Perri

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?
Probably because I’ve been avoiding guys since I found out I have an std. It could also be my sunny disposition driving them away.

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?
Rich douchebag.

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?
Oddly enough, yes.
53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?
I live with 2 couples very in love. I certainly hope not.

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (e.g. on facebook)?
Not at all.

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?
I’m needy.

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?
Probably in some round about way.

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?
Suicide is not silly, but I do wish we lived in a world it was.

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?
They exist. I wouldn’t care either way.

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?
Family is what you make it.

62: How do you define “cheating”?
Would you lie to your partner and your mother about it? It’s probably cheating.

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?
It has it’s merits.

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?

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